This is why I still need my wife - to pick my kids' shit up after them. 💩😝
So the biggest event happening during this long weekend #stayhome period was the unfortunate incident of one kid's (who shall be called A) poop clogging up the toilet bowl.
It all began with the wifey's shrieking from the bathroom, "Who never flush after pooping???" I walked in and came face to face with it. Lying at the bottom of the toilet bowl was this massive brown monster that I swore was at least 5cm in diameter! It was as if someone walked into my toilet, spewed molten lava out of the ass and it hardened right there... at the bottom of my toilet bowl.
I tried to flush it down but it stubbornly refused to budge. I tried using a huge pail of water to force it down but it sneered back at me. I tried washing it down together with some anti-choke chemical but still it prevailed.
And then I did what I had to.
I reached into the toilet bowl - with a plastic bag over my hand, of course - and scooped the brown chunk out, as I let out barely audible speak: "Horrible... oh my goodness... gonna throw up... might not make it... tell the kids... I love them..." And this was followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
I didn't puke in the end and the deed was done. The wifey them took over, cleared the remaining blockage with a plunger and it was clear! Never had I loved the sound of a toilet bowl's flushing so much.
If you had read this while muching on some food, I apologise. But I guess this incident summed up our past 7 weeks of being confned at home and to a larger extent, my 17 years of marriage. Sure, we had faced lots of challenges along the way, raised our voices, quarrelled and pissed each other off. But we always managed to resolve them by seeing the lighter side of things, by not taking the little things that irk us so seriously and most importantly, supporting one another and laughing through it. Like having to fish a humongous poop out of the toilet bowl.
We may not always be lovey-dovey but I do know that the wifey has always got my back, no matter how crappy the situation can be. And that's no BS.
P.S. I'm counting on her to clean my poop when I'm old and senile in future. 😂
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